Sometimes the only way to know it's happening is to trust your gut. But no matter where this torment happens, it isn't easy to recognize the signs while you're in the thick of it, especially within close, intimate relationships and friendships. Within your family and friend circles, Burns says bullying can take form in excessive criticism, gaslighting, mind games, or threats of physical, financial, or emotional harm. Workplace peers can definitely exhibit bullying tendencies-pettiness, rumor-spreading, insults, cliquiness, intimidation, threatening comments, and more. And bosses and figures in superior leadership positions aren't the only ones who can bully others.
It can be scary to stand up to your manager, which means the behavior only continues or becomes worse. Workplace bullying can look like a boss constantly over-correcting, requiring more work out of one employee, making you feel guilty about taking a vacation, or belittling you, either in private or in front of others, explains Arolyn Burns, a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. One of the places where bullying is often rampant and tolerated is in the workplace. Ivanov says adult bullying behavior identically reflects that of childhood bullying, since it methodically targets someone with the intention of intimidating, undermining, and/or degrading them.
It can also take forms of aggressive physical contact, speech, written text, and snide, subtle actions. According to Zlatin Ivanov, MD, a New York City–based psychiatrist, bullying includes actions like making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. Bullying has many levels and manifestations, but regardless of how subtle or passive-aggressive, or overt and intense it may be, it can have a damaging impact on self-esteem.